half birthday...

i don't know of anyone else who actually knows and recognizes their half birthdays... well, for one more hour or so, today is my half birthday... how fun is that??? 

for those who don't know - i am living with this absolutely terrific family for the summer and it is mostly chaos, but lots of fun... there are 9 of us who live here altogether - "mom and dad," 5 "brothers" and one "sister" and me- the kids' ages range from 7-24.5 (that's me)... and 3 dogs, 2 guinea pigs, a bunny, fish and 5 birds... yeah, it's definitely a full house...

tonight they were having a war with air soft pistols in the house... crazy - i was just trying not to get shot... it's so fun... i will be sad to go back to not living with a bunch of people, i think... even though some quiet time alone will be good - and i can always come visit...

it really just makes me feel happy to be surrounded with people... for all 9 of us to sit around the dinner table together and share lives...  what a wonderful concept of family that God designed...

so there's my random bit o'stuff for the day... i hope the weekend is terrific for you!!!

jobs...

so today i went on an interview with a small company here in vancouver... i left feeling really good about it and the more i thought about it, the less good i felt.

i'm really unsure about what to do, job-wise, but one thing i've decided is i need to have a better attitude about work.  i know that God has me in the job He has me in for a reason... i was thinking back to my friend amy's job last year and how much she struggled, but what she learned... and i know that i will learn more if my attitude is better. 

so prayers would be appreciated about my job situation.  during the interview today he asked me what my plans were for the next year, 2 years and 5 years and i almost laughed in his face... i know what i'm doing for the next five days, and if you gave me enough time, i might be able to come up with what i'm doing for the next five weeks... other than school i have NO IDEA!!! 

so anyway... we'll see what happens...

movie quote of the day... (by the way, TONS OF POINTS still available - maybe i should get a job at a movie store) worth 1000 points... it's a tough one - but there's a hint with the character name... no cheating!!!

Gib: I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me in English.

blah...

i went to see a very stupid movie tonight... okay, it's not stupid, but i made a poor choice in going to see it... within the first five minutes, i was crying... what the heck???

i love movies... i like watching all sorts of movies about many different things... action, suspense, rom-com, comedy, drama, an occasional sci-fi... it doesn't much matter... love most... however... sometimes, especially when i'm feeling as vulnerable as i am today, it makes it NO FUN to go see a movie and have no control over the power it has over me... even thinking about the things that the scenes in this particular film made me think and feel, i am almost to tears... but not almost... i am there...

so i guess i just felt like venting, although my journal will receive more details than any of you will get... i don't even think i'll write the name of the movie... mostly to spare myself the embarrassment that would surely come!!!  and i guess this entry has little point other than my frustrations as a female...  sorry guys...

today's 5 - 2 are REALLY EXCITING!!!

i have two really really good ones... but i'll save them for last!!!

1.  i got to sleep in and don't have to work, which gives me a little rest time which is way good!!!

2.  it's another beautiful day in vancouver...
 
3.  praise team practice is tonight and i like praise team practice a lot!!!

4.  i finished my last summer school assignment, so i'm officially free from school stuff until august 23rd...

5.  the arkansas state university football team (go indians!!!) is playing the university of idaho football team (boo vandals!!!) at idaho this year (on nov. 6), which is only 6 hours away from where i live so i might be able to go watch my team play football this year!!!  i just need to find some friends to go with me!!!
 http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/teamsched?teamId=2032

i'm sure there will be at least five more things today - but that is what i have for now... any takers on asu football in idaho, let me know!!!

consumed vs. enveloped

i know i still haven't written many details about camp - but the theme of camp is "totally consumed."  i was challenged by the director to look at hebrews 12:2-29, as the passage talks about God being a consuming fire...
 
well, to me, i've always found comfort in God being a consuming fire.  i've probably never thought about it completely.  i figured it's good to be totally consumed in God and that's the way i thought about it.  so, today, i thought i should probably start looking up stuff on it.  i know this sounds a little elementary, (big surprise, huh?) but i looked it up in the dictionary... actually dictionary.com - (technology)
 
consuming v.
1. to take in as food; eat or drink up.
2.  a.  To expend; use up  b.  To purchase for direct use or ownership
3.  To waste; squander.
4.  To destroy totally; ravage
5.  To absorb; engross
 
so i guess i've always thought about it from #5's perspective... but i don't think that is absolutely right... in fact, i think it's more of #4... which disturbs me a little... i'll get to it in a second... first, i guess when i've thought about God as a consuming fire, i've thought of it more in the sense of enveloping... according to dictionary.com (again),
 
enveloping v.
1. To enclose or encase completely with or as if with a covering
 
i've always thought about consuming this way - more like a big hug that envelops... i think this is wrong...  i think it's more like God destroying and killing my sin nature and possessing all of me...  i guess this sounds a little "out there," but lately (yesterday at church, especially), i've been faced with the reality of sin... during the passover meal, the participants of the meal eat bitter herbs and dip certain elements in salt water to demonstrate sin - and the remorse (salt water = tears) that we should feel... how many times have i wept over sin in my life recently?  not enough, i assure you...  so i guess i am seeing how God as a consuming fire should be approached and seen as more out of reverence and fear. 
 
these are really preliminary thoughts, but i thought i'd put them out there for feedback and for future reference... what does it mean to be totally consumed??

today's five

1.  it was a beautiful day in vancouver and i washed my car...
 
2.  i love sundays... and church was really great this morning...
 
3.  i bought the shrek soundtrack and it's fun times...
 
4.  i entertained a lot of people (or so they told me) with my randomness and weirdness...
 
5.  i got some news from a distant land (arkansas) about old friends...
 
i have a movie quote worth 500 points to the first correct response...
 
1 - "i love you a million swedish fish...
2 - i love you a million red m&m's" 
 
(although, on a side note, i would never love someone a million red m&m's, because i don't eat them... strange... i might say, "i love you a million blue m&m's or green m&m's...)
 
there are still lots of points to be won...

5 things...

i was cleaning out my email folders today and found some old emails from camp staff from 2002 (yea, mobile!!!).  it was pre-camp, and some of us were playing a little game... not really a game, but it sounds a lot funner if it is a game - everyone loves games, right??? 
 
anyway, the name of the game is - name 5 things that you are happy about or thankful for today... the rules are simple... you name 5 things that you are happy about or thankful for today... (not yesterday or tomorrow - but today!!)  and then you challenge other people to do the same... the fun thing is - sometimes other peoples' responses will make you happy, too... and plus, even for one minute of the day (or however long it takes you to come up with 5) you've thought about happy things... so my 5 for the day are...
 
1.  having almost all of my summer school work done (one more mini-assignment to go)
 
2.  i got up and ate breakfast with 2 of the boys and watched the price is right and family feud
 
3.  i have really terrific friends who make me happy on a regular basis - even if i don't get to talk to all of them every day
 
4.  color - i love color
 
5.  beautiful days
 
okay - now i challenge you - name 5 things that make you happy or that you're thankful for today... and challenge others...

laughter and an occasional snort...

i'm fascinated today with laughter... why do some things bring smiles to our faces, an outburst of laughter or even a snort...
there are a few people in my life right now - and 2 of them happen to be father and son - who can make me have an outburst of laughter and usually a big snort without even saying a word... they look at me, and i lose it... it's great fun, but i can't explain it at all... i can't explain why certain things make me laugh and other people don't think it's one bit funny... strange... someone called me the other night and told me a story and prefaced it by saying, "i thought that you'd be someone who would laugh at this..." what a great thing to hear... that made me happy... even if the story hadn't been funny, which it was, i would have laughed anyway!!! i like that sometimes when i smile too much my face hurts... and being around some people makes my face hurt because i smile too much... and sometimes i hate that when i'm giddy for some unknown (or known) reason, my face reveals me before i have a chance to talk... anyway, i hope that today your life is filled with laughter... it is a GREAT way to burn calories... we should all do more of it!!! happy laughing!!!

today's quote worth 500 points to the first response:
"Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert: I'd be so grateful.
Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feeling, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth".
[They laugh]
Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: And that was nothing like a good joke. "

work...

i work at a frame shop for a national crafts store... i will choose not to say the name of it - i really love the job, but sometimes get tired of corporate america and all that goes along with it...

we've had a lot of quality upgrades the last few weeks and things have changed about the way we sell custom framing and what is required... in some ways this is good as it is better for the art that customers are framing - in some ways it is bad - the costs have gone up and there is less negotiating as to what customers can have... i won't go into all the jargon... so last week, i had no hours - and this week i have over 30 - which is more than i've ever had in one week since i started working there a year ago... and i was worried about today because today is the first day of a major sale where the quality stuff was all put into play...

since february 1st, i've sold over $9200 worth of custom framing for the store (without tax). today i sold $1100 worth of custom framing. it was amazing... things went better with customers than i had anticipated and i feel like i am earning respect of the framing manager... i have the "record" for the largest daily average which i got a couple of weeks ago... but not only that - i am really liking what i do... i feel more comfortable with selling and producing framing orders, and i'm learning more about the whole process...

i'm not saying all this as boastful... it's just a really good place to be in work... plus, gaining trust with my managers means more hours and that translates to more people i can build relationships with and i'm really wanting to build relationships outside of work in order to earn the right to share my faith.

and - this is the really good part of the story... i got to semi-train this guy in framing today - the framing manager passed it off onto me, because she doesn't like public speaking/training - any of that stuff... she was standing in the shop eavesdropping on the "training" and told me she was really impressed. i got to thinking about it - and thinking about ministry... one of the main things that excited me last year in school was the idea of leading an intercultural communications seminar... so i think maybe it's one of the gifts that God has given me that i've never really put fully into practice... but it seems so natural to me... i had a great time training someone today and i love being in front of people... so i'm really going to start praying about how God might use that in ministry... anyway - i really felt blessed by seeing how God was at work today - even in my secular job... and the guy i was training was opening up about his life which was exciting... i'm hoping to get to know my coworkers on a more personal level so i can get to know them as friends rather than coworkers...

exciting times!!! and i just finished a creamsicle... yum...

may put another movie quote on later...

randomness...

i am wishing that i could open up my head and let thoughts roll down to my fingertips and onto the screen... there is quite a bit going on in my brain and heart and it's hard to know what to write about - what inspiration to follow...

1) i got to play pool tonight - i really like to play pool... and i love going to the pool hall where we go... (broadway billiards in downtown vancouver, wa!) well, we go just about every weekend... but it's just a good break from "real life"... i think a lot when i play - about lots of random stuff... but i don't talk a lot. (when we play, that is - anyone who knows me knows that is not true most of the time...)

2) i'm starting preparations for camp - i went today and bought some stuff for the other staffers - this makes me happy... i love being able to encourage others and i hope that i'm able to do that with the other people i'll be working with - (i guess i haven't really said a lot about camp - more promises for more details but not today)

3) tonight for no reason at all, i started laughing (there was nothing to laugh at) and snorted 4 times in one laugh - and no one else was laughing... i think that makes it worse. more times today than i want to admit, i've felt really moronic... i'm sure it will pass eventually...

this is the point where i have SO MUCH running through my head but i can't materialize anymore... a lot of it deals with my current state of singleness... but i don't like to go there on such a public arena... but maybe a different day...

here's a quote from the movie i want to watch tonight but don't think i'll be able to... and i want to watch it SO BAD!!! 500 points...

"You're not a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't just be a guy."

oh - and current point status is as follows... 500 points to amy, 600 points available...

sorry for the randomness of this entry... i wish i could write something meaningful rather than a lot of junk...

grown up...

last night i got to hang out with some friends... we went to a restaurant in portland and sat outside and drank coffee and ate dessert. it was totally fun, and it made me feel like a grown up. i remember being a teenager and thinking how cool it would be to be a young adult and go hang out with girl friends and laugh. well, it is totally fun. however, i don't feel as cool as i made all those other young adults out to be... i guess i'm just seeing things from the other side. i'm just hitting that point in my life where i am starting to actually feel like a grown-up. i don't necessarily love all the responsibility that goes with it, but in other ways, it's wonderful. and i don't think i'll ever really grow up all the way. it's too much fun being a kid!

here's my top 5 list of the things that make me feel like a grown-up...
1. the example from above - going out with friends and laughing about really random things and reminiscing about stuff. (we'll just leave it at that)
2. going through the drive-thru at the bank.
3. drinking coffee
4. having adult conversations about postmodernism and culture and advertising and literature
5. the realization that in 20 days i'll be 24 and a half.

here's my top 5 list of the things that make me feel like a non-grown-up
1. snorting when i laugh
2. sleeping in
3. lack of permanent things in my life and huge life commitments (friends buying houses and getting married and having kids)
4. the big piles of clothes in my room
5. the realization that in 20 days i'll be 24 and a half.

what are You trying to teach me, Daddy?

okay... so lately i have been inundated with a couple of distinct messages... "What are You trying to teach me, Daddy?"

the first is... evangelism... i have been overwhelmed with messages about evangelism - a whole bunch of sermons lately and a class about it this summer... i was even reading a friend's blog and was challenged to share my faith in a brand new way... in my journal a few sundays ago, i was writing the words, "what am i doing to share my faith? do i care about the lost? how will i make a genuine effort to share?" - questions like that... to top it off... i'm on the worship planning committee for my church (basically i just add variety to the group and help try to plan the worship services on sunday... i think that they keep me around for laughs). the direction of the services has changed and the next several sundays are going to be centered around evangelism... as soon as the words came out of pastor's mouth, i am sure the look on my face gave me away... "what are You trying to teach me, Daddy?" as if it's not obvious enough.

the church... while i was hanging out with my friend nikki yesterday afternoon, we listened to derek webb... i had listened to his cd several months ago, and pushed it aside, not because i didn't like it, but just because i didn't take the time to invest in it... and last night, i was writing a response to a review for class (that was due last thursday) about braveheart... and i began to see the parallels of william wallace's love for murron and Christ's love for His bride... i even thought about derek webb's cd when writing it... so today, i decided it was time for me to go buy the cd. 2 stores later, i had it in hand. (www.derekwebb.com) in trying to plan stuff for sunday, i had brought up a song by ross king (random song off of a cd that is no longer in print) and we were trying to find more information about it. i ended up on ross king's website today (www.rosskingmusic.com) and was looking through an old journal article of his on his website, and what was it about? the Church - also related to derek webb's cd... lately i have felt really encouraged by church - not just sermons and worship - but by the community of the church and the purpose and intent and the whole of it... but at the same time, i can see how the christian culture that i have often been a part of (and was exposed to largely in the south) has damaged what the church is and how we "do" church... "what are You trying to teach me, Daddy?" this one is not quite as obvious...

so i'm trying to keep my eyes and ears open... i have been talking with a few people about a few different things in my life... one is about God's reign in my life and the other is camp (more details to come) - and now with these two teaching issues - i am pre-amazed at what Daddy has in store... i've never heard anyone use the term 'pre-amazed'... someone tried to say 'anticipation' in its place... but it's better than that... excited hopeful confident anticipation (i don't even think that covers it)... something huge is on the horizon... and it's going to be incredible...

good friends and time off...

when i got my schedule for work this week i was a little angry... i had a grand total of 5 hours - monday 8(a.m.)-1... i like having 20-25 hours a week, if possible... so, i was a little annoyed... with promises of "next week's schedule will be better," i tried to be optimistic...

then, a good friend called me yesterday, kind of out of the blue... and i realized i had time to hang out with her this week because of no work... and i ran into another friend at the fort after the fireworks who i hadn't seen or talked to in over a month... and we're supposed to hang out this week... and then another friend called me this morning and we got to hang out this afternoon... she is moving to texas on monday... so i'm thankful for this week, because we get to hang out on thursday...

today, i went over to hang out with my friend while she packed... and it was one of the most refreshing things i have experienced in a while... lately church has been so refreshing... but there aren't a lot of other things outside of that that bring so much joy and refreshment as today did. we were able to talk about what God is doing in our lives and ministry and relationships... wow...

all of that to say... despite my bad attitude, God knew exactly what i needed this week... good times with good friends and some time off... plus i have some summer school homework to catch up on... i laugh at how if i would just stop and look around, i see how God has control of it all... and all i need to do is trust Him... this is something i know (with my head) and need to know with my heart...

quote...

here's another movie quote - this one worth 500 points to the first correct response...

i'm a paranoid schizophrenic. i'm my own entourage.

God bless the USA...

i have a friend whose dad sings at wedding receptions and stuff sometimes... i wasn't there, but one time, he was asked to sing "God bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood... he agreed, thinking it would be a great idea... about halfway through the song, he forgot the words and started making them up as he went. the funny part is, no one seemed to notice except his family who was there... trying to keep straight faces, they looked around and everyone was smiling and nodding...

i guess i should write other stuff about being patriotic and all that stuff... but i'm not really in that mode today... i did think about my granddaddy who fought in world war II... i miss him a lot... he was a terrific man...

and the sermon this morning was about marriage... i won't go there today... i decided in my mind, when i was trying to decide on inspiration for today's blog entry that i would not write about all the stuff that i gleaned from the message... maybe a different day... it really was cool and insightful... but... well... not today...

a word to the ladies...

after my last entry, i thought about the women... while there is a lot to be said for chivalry, it is not all up to the men. i think in order to be treated like a lady, a woman must act like a lady. (this is actually one of my major soap-box issues, especially when it comes to the way that women and girls in our society dress, but i won't go there right now) so, i think women can be as equally heroic when they allow men to be gentlemen and behave as ladies should...

wow - am i way too conservative or what? that's okay -
"i want the fairy tale" - name the movie first and you get 100 points.

super heroes...

the boys in the family that i live with and i decided that there should be a super hero story made up about me... and today at work, i got to frame a picture of captain america... coincidence? probably not...

what are super heroes anyway? i was reading a letter from one of the other boys in the family written to his parents about how he thought they were true heroes (something about what he saw in spiderman 2)... i know... awww... gag me... but i guess in some respects it kind of is true...

what is a hero? - a song by chad kroeger or enrique iglesias? tina turner suggests "we don't need another hero" while Bonnie Tyler says..."I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night, and he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero, I'm holding out for the hero till the morning light, and he's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life." (i just really like singing that song)

we can say that those who are defending our country are our heroes, or those that have sacrificed... family members or friends... hmmm....

today - who is my hero? my hero is not really one person... gentlemen... those who go above and beyond what our culture says is necessary to win a girl's affection - and takes the extra step to open a car door or walk closest to the street or carry something for a girl... even if it's not that heavy... so i may get ambushed by girls who say they can open their own doors... i used to be that way - but there's something to be said for chivalry... so men - there's your challenge... be a hero!!

long time... no see... or hear...

okay - so i just sent out the mass email telling everyone who is anyone about my blog... and i think yahoo is strange... i have a button that allows me to send an email to "everyone," but when i try... it doesn't let me... i have to break them all down... taking a lot more time than i had wanted to take... i guess i just know too many people... way too popular... :)... so... if any of you ventured out to read about what's going on... well, there's not much here yet... there probably won't be a whole lot that is really exciting... random ramblings from a girl named robyn... but leave comments as you like - and email me if you want!!! thanks for stopping by!!!

soda pop cup lids

today i was fascinated by drink lids... you know, the plastic kind that you stick a straw into - that mark, "cola," "diet," "other" - that kind of thing... i wonder who invented them... how very clever - as long as the right one is marked... and it's just a lot of fun to push all of them down, too... but that would be like a suicide drink (does anyone know what i'm talking about??) - is it really suicide to mix coke, diet coke, sprite, dr. pepper and fruit punch (and whatever else)?? i'm not so sure...

first attempt.

okay... so this is my first attempt... basically, i thought it would be fun to be able to write random stuff and let some random (and some not so random) people read it from time to time... also, it can allow me to vent stuff and send it into the great unknown... so here goes...